The Thin & Diminishing Line Betwixt Being Free & Being Busy

My work which in my eyes is very ordinarily challenging takes away most of my time. I feel like my personal life is up for a spin, funnily enough though, this is only occurring to me now. How I unquestionably hate working Saturdays. And how I'm so taken by my work and its limitations, that it spills over to my all other sides. I haven't written anything exactly significant in more than three months. None too great a literature read, and no drawings made. I need to get all my creative energies together in something other than creative ways to make incredible excuses for a chaotic and utterly unorganized life.

So I have quite a few work woes, and I'm not ready to look at them like others, as in, the school of thought of 'nobody really likes what they do'. Because I for once, don't want to spend 40 hours per week of the best years of my life doing something I don't like. So as much as I really want to voice my woes and get things rolling, I never really know what is an acceptable work difficulty to express and which ones to manipulate extensively. Anyway, I don't think some of my difficulties make either of the cuts. Like how would you feel when you come in to work one day and there's a snake. A fucking snake. I mean, shit! What kind of a fucking work place is that!? Jeez. Anyway, I'm told its commonplace thing at IIT and we just need to learn to live with them. For which, I say - No.

Strange very very strange things have been happening, in the lines of finding snakes at your work place ofcourse. Like your Mom asking you if you've ever seen a boy stripping? That's freaky shit dude. She also very recently acquired the added skills of SMS-ing, so now whatever I tell her about my life all through her overtly frequent phone calls, she tops it with an SMS to go along with it, right after you hang up. So, they revolve around Aal iz well type-y jokes, to you need courage to live type lines, to sardar jokes to friends are forever to dirty jokes. Yeah, dirty jokes. Eww.

Also, I recently moved to a new place and don't know fuck about making new friends. Like what the fuck do you say, "Hi, you don't know squat about me but we're gonna sleep in the same bed and eavesdrop on each other's personal late night conversations from today. Of course, fucking awesome meeting you". Also, there are so many uncertainties. Like how tolerant are you with swear words, do you expect me to ask you for dinner when I go out? Do you like music in the background? Are you going to judge me if you see fleeting scenes of nudity on my laptop screen (Courtesy: Califorication, damn good show btw), and what's the protocol on dressing up? You dress in the shower or the bedroom? Or I don't know. It's just weird. And I now also have the headache to set up a new internet connection at my place, jeez. And a brand new bank account, because seriously SBI is a little too much for one life.

Salut!

Phokat Incoherent Brouhaha

There is a seductive shimmer on the horizon of happiness. It doesn’t let you rest. It’s tempting and worse off, always an option. When you’ve been hurt before, you want to just play the rims. Stay on the covers, smile from far and not involve. Not indulge. But that’s no way to happiness. Stuck in the sham, drudgery and broken dreams, we forget the little nuisance of an honest smile. A dreamy stare. A warm touch. A sign. And to yearn for it, is to almost reach it. That’s the way to be happy. Yearn. Dive. Sink. Surrender. (Goofy Smile- Humungous)

Few advises (for free)

1. Every person must live in student hostel once. Atleast long enough to realize that it’s probably a bad idea to not employ domestic help and act oversmart to claim that we do all our jhaadu and the like ourselves.

2. Some people are just plain lucky, and no matter how much you crib (or stare in disbelief) there’s nothing much you can do about it but sulk.

3. So much reluctance to not dress up is also a sort of vanity.

4. ‘Absolute’ does not exist. Absolute love, Absolute honesty, Absolute happiness, Absolutely stunning, eh. However, Absolut Vodka does :) And Thank God for that. Halle-fucking-lujah.

5. Food is one of the purest forms of pure lust. Pure, pure, sacred. I characterize every activity and phenomenon with food now. Say for example:
Wrapping in my comforter before sleeping: Becoming a Burrito
When the power cuts off: It makes me a Fried Chicken
When people throw attitude: Don’t go Foie gras on me!
To save on the sanity, I’ll leave my racist associations alone. Ask me in private, its good stuff ;)

The fun gossip from College, I didn’t share it here, so here’a cover on the wait-for-it – Cat Fight. We had a HR Services presentation; we presented Southwest Airlines HR Services. And some biaatchh couldn’t take the peace and took up a fight middle of the presentation, contesting our sources (and made us loose 5 marks in the end term presentation). Trouble. We’re a 6 girls group. Repeat – Girls. Six. Grouped. And mad. My dearie gawd, we screwed her happiness. Ofcourse, I had a guilt trip later for doing that. But for that little while that it lasted, it was fun. But on the whole, this was a satisfying week. A 52 page proposal for my world’s favourit-est company fetched me an ‘A’. And I’m max kicked. The company is IKEA if any of you are wondering. On other fronts, I still don’t have a summer Internship in order. But Jo’anna don’t lose no hope.

And No, I’m not yet over on my self confessed obsession to DevD. The damn thing is my wallpaper, and if you must know, I made a collage of my favourite shots from the film in between classes. I love it that much. Dhol Yaara Dhol makes you want to be in love. Butttt.. Delhi-6? What was the objective again? I mean, bhai koi original game laao. Sirf aaina dikhaane se kuch nahi hoga, humen bahut log dikha chuke hain. Hum metaphors aur simile waale sophisticates hain hi nahi dost. Hum nahi samajhte. Mujhe toh aakhir tak ummeed thi ek asli ke kaale bandar ki. Ki koi Makrand Deshpande lookalike maidaan main koodkar dilliwalon se confess karega, sansanikhej khabar banegi, thoda public drama banega, maze aayengi. Sab waste. Poori movie waste hain. 120 Rs bhi waste huye. Genda Phool hi ek layak cheez thi, iske liye itni jaddojahad jheli. Par, Gulaal in just around the corner. Ranaji was delightful, Rekha Bhardwaj’s voice is so captivating and so raw, it has a brittleness which is so original. I love love love her voice.

Also, I was twittering the other day, what the hell is this usage of word Bang? I thought it meant, yeah, that. What are all these new usages springing? Is it just used in Bombay? Someone said yesterday while giving me directions, ‘Bang opposite of ICICI’. Huh!? Oh, and ‘Bang on!’ Hmm, sure. Let me know, if this semantic harakiri is used any other way. I’m interested in all the umm.. banging.

Rest of the world is going by it’s speed. And I wouldn't change a thing. Get it? Get it? Si ;-)

See ya. And so long.

On 'Doing Nothing'

I've noticed (in a serious tone) how I hardly have any conventionally profound thoughts on my blog of late, its all casual everyday yaa yaa yikkety yak. Hehe.. I 'll continue the trend. Gladly (takes a bow).

I read somewhere once, that we do not have enough time to do all the nothing that we want to do. When I passed my 12th, and opted for Journalism as a career over Engineering, you can well imagine the uproar in my family. My Dad being an engineer and all. So yeah, my college's a joke, to them. People who don't get selected in Engineering or Medicine, study Arts. I've come to realize how rooted this mentality is in our Social Outlooks. Isn't it innate in all of us that Musicians and Artists don't earn enough. Don't we all unanimously agree that Management, Medicine and Engineering are the most lucrative career choices and hence quite obvious. Well, I've been thinking, its quite sad.

Are there more people in the world who don't know what exactly they want to do? Ok, to put it better, are there more people like me who want to do a lot of everything in their lives?
I often think who would I be if I didn't HAVE to be what I have become. What would I do with my life if I didn't have any lists of to-do set apart by society to succumb to. What would I really

want to do if I wasn't answerable to anyone.

Lots of things.

Work in an NGO.

Teach.

Travel.

Learn Music.

Learn Painting.

Get a degree in English Literature.

Become a traveller guide.

Get formal training in World Dances.

Photography.

Work as a Social Activist for Women Upliftment.

Work with the United Nations.

Cook.

Raise Kids.

Study Sociology.

A little bit of all of these.

A little bit of nothing.

More or less, none of this would suffice to the rigidity of a great career. Hopefully, I'll get enough time to do a whole lot of nothing in my life soon. After all, one life.
Aloha!

P.S. The two pictures above are my late night artwork on Paintbrush. They're my two most favourite. I've made two so far, umm, both my favourite :)

P.P.S. Also, dont be judging drawing capabilities by these. I'm a 'little' better freehand :) Hehe..