On 'Doing Nothing'

I've noticed (in a serious tone) how I hardly have any conventionally profound thoughts on my blog of late, its all casual everyday yaa yaa yikkety yak. Hehe.. I 'll continue the trend. Gladly (takes a bow).

I read somewhere once, that we do not have enough time to do all the nothing that we want to do. When I passed my 12th, and opted for Journalism as a career over Engineering, you can well imagine the uproar in my family. My Dad being an engineer and all. So yeah, my college's a joke, to them. People who don't get selected in Engineering or Medicine, study Arts. I've come to realize how rooted this mentality is in our Social Outlooks. Isn't it innate in all of us that Musicians and Artists don't earn enough. Don't we all unanimously agree that Management, Medicine and Engineering are the most lucrative career choices and hence quite obvious. Well, I've been thinking, its quite sad.

Are there more people in the world who don't know what exactly they want to do? Ok, to put it better, are there more people like me who want to do a lot of everything in their lives?
I often think who would I be if I didn't HAVE to be what I have become. What would I do with my life if I didn't have any lists of to-do set apart by society to succumb to. What would I really

want to do if I wasn't answerable to anyone.

Lots of things.

Work in an NGO.

Teach.

Travel.

Learn Music.

Learn Painting.

Get a degree in English Literature.

Become a traveller guide.

Get formal training in World Dances.

Photography.

Work as a Social Activist for Women Upliftment.

Work with the United Nations.

Cook.

Raise Kids.

Study Sociology.

A little bit of all of these.

A little bit of nothing.

More or less, none of this would suffice to the rigidity of a great career. Hopefully, I'll get enough time to do a whole lot of nothing in my life soon. After all, one life.
Aloha!

P.S. The two pictures above are my late night artwork on Paintbrush. They're my two most favourite. I've made two so far, umm, both my favourite :)

P.P.S. Also, dont be judging drawing capabilities by these. I'm a 'little' better freehand :) Hehe..

Indian Context

We were reading the 'Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs' in our Advertising class. The first block of needs are the Physiologial needs, the ones which are the most primitive to any living form, undistinguishable from any other living form. Such as, for example Food. So, our lecture is going on, she draws the Hierarchy pyramid on the board, and writes in there -

Food, Shelter, Warmth, Sex. And then she quickly erases Sex and .. umm here - "You know in Indian context Sex is not applicable in basic needs". Sigh. Long sigh.



P.S. Anyone to whom I havent sent this link in email already. Please make it a point to read it. Made me smile the first thing in the morning today. I'm still at a loss of words, plenty on the happiness side though.

Wrath/ तामस

अगर जलना ही है
तो लोहे सा तो कम से कम ना जलो
की अपनी ही गर्मी मॆ खुद ही पिघल कर अपना वजूद मिटा लॆ

जलना ही है तो ज्वाला सा जलो
खुद जले तो जले
दुनिया को ही उजागर कर जाओ

किन्ही का तो अन्धेरा कम हो जयेगा

Some Shit

I wonder sometimes what really my parents think (well, include my bade papa, chachas and badi mammas, chachis and brothers to the league).

Do they think girls are forever to be taken care of? They have to be kept completely protected, unadulterated under surveillance in their parents' house. Loved and cared for, of course. And then be very well taken care of under the guiding and watchful eyes of their more capable and rational husbands. So, I am not responsible enough for my own self? NO, really, I must be missing something here.

When I passed my 12th Grade, my family didn't even let me fill the forms outside my city, let alone, appear for tests. It's been five years since, and I thought, times change, we all grow up. But no sirree. Boo fucking hoo, no. Uh uh.

So I'm supposed to go to Alliance, Bangalore for a GD PI this weekend, and after I get my tickets, listen to this-

Bade Papa - "Bangalore bahut duur hain".

Chachu- "She is not mature enough to be alone".

OK.

Right, my 12th grader little brother is definitely mature enough to be sent to America alone next year. Oh, and my just an year older brother's college in Australia must definitely be closer than Bangalore.

Christ. I'm 22. Seriously, shut up.

A Long Lost Red Crayon

The greatest factor that keeps us all going in life is a possibility of a better future.

As I sit here and watch over the past few years in a fanatic speed of bollywood flashback reel, I had, just like everyone else, thousands of these moments. When the present looks so dreary you almost leap down to thinking of giving it all up, for a distant house, a secluded city, anonymity.

You secretly keep wishing that in time you'll fall asleep and the morning will hold a better note.

I didnt let Bhaiya and Bhabhi out of my sight the entire night. Actually, it was quite impossible not to notice them. Colourful, vivid, young, energetic, lost.

He slided a ring in her finger. It was a twin band, one gold and the other white gold with diamonds studded all around it. Feel nothing. And then it was her turn, a broad gold ring with some twelve diamonds fitted in a square shape. Eww.

My aunt kept staring at me. As if my standing there was some bad luck for the couple. I'll just blame the cinema (for convenience) for ->
'divorced/widow=bad luck'
Eh, she hates me anyways, who cares.

I tried my level best to get lost in the crowd. But something or the other kept happening. Your coke needed ice, people come up to you and want to know hows college, you get hungry, its too cold, its suffocating. Useless unavoidable things.

Suddenly, I looked around to see everyone and it was like being in pairs was an obligation. All you see are couples. "Where the hell are those loud, obnoxious little kids when you need them in the picture?"

You know when you were in fourth grade and you get invited to a classmate's birthday party at their house. Chole-bhature, cake and triangular flourescent green caps. And you get a 10 rupees 12 colour crayon set.

Years down the lane, you find those crayons in the study table drawer. You cant throw them away, cause some weird Indian mother voice in your head keeps repeating, 'You might need them someday'. So you chuck them somewhere in there and shut the drawer close. Dark. It might never see the light of the day, but then again, it might.

I feel like that long lost red crayon. I want to sleep.

Adherence

It seems to me that we all want to be different. A rebel. Its cool, isnt it? (Wait, do we still use the 'cool' word? It came out while I was in school, and I remember how everyone wanted it in their email IDs.. I loved that time) (Shit, ADD, ok back here now). So I was saying being weird is standard. How we all take immense pride in it, its pretty amazing. Sometimes I think that we'd be better rebels if we become conformists once in a while.

Everyone reminds me of someone. Heh, two hoots to the stinking originality eh? Dissapointments, all the way. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

However, loyalty prevails from the world of written words. Here's something I absolutely loved.

'Conceit'
by D.H.Lawrence

It is conceit that kills us
and makes us cowards instead of gods.

Under the great Command: Know thy self, and that
thou art mortal!
we have become fatally self-conscious, fatally self-important,
fatally entangled in the cocoon coils of our conceit.

Now we have to admit we can't know ourselves,
we can only know about ourselves.
And I am not interested to know about myself any more,
I only entangle myself in the knowing.

Now let me be myself, now let me be myself,
and flicker forth, now let me be myself, in the being, one of the gods.

Alright then.

Whoa(man!)

I coudn't believe my eyes. So first, these looked like some complicated letters (please also do look at the board they're holding) and I thought it was one of those foriegn language phrases which have been comfortably adopted in the English language for example Lingua Franca ( like what the fuck?!). But anyway, then I took a guess and I thought it's a long shot for a HIV PSA. But uhh, No.

This is a poster for the upcoming Parliamentary Elections on October 21st in Poland. Yes. I know. Its a campaign for the newly founded 'Women's Party'.

The poster also incorporates their electoral slogan: "Everything for the future... and nothing to hide."

So we see.

I've spoken for women all the sane years that I remember from my life but this is amusing even to me and after letting the weirdness of it sink in, I find it kind of offending. Actually, demeaning.

Anyway thank god, its Poland. Even the thought of Sushma Swaraj and Uma Bharti standing here makes me nauseous.