Old School

I was home for Rakhi this weekend and you what I realized.. Landline phones are awesome. It feels like a phone, looks like a phone, heavy receivers and a practical perceivable distance between the earpiece and the speaker phone. It would be such fun when I was in school, the phone would ring and I would know who it is even before I would pick the call, my childhood best pal Swati. And I would be so kicked, so red and so happy. Cell phones have ruined it all. Now we always know who it is before we take the call, and well, then sometimes when we don't take the call then. However, miss those days.

IMPPORTANT EDIT: Chirayu, none of this holds true for you. Better not chuck your cell phone anywhere and be too inspired by the post. You on the other hand should have a double battery backup and not be unreachable ever. Yeap, ever. Got that!? (Ha!)

Big City Woes

Its been quiet here, I know. There's way too much going on, and in weird ways too much stagnantion. So much happened in the past few days that its hard to believe that its just been a month since the last time I wrote. I'm not myself anymore. I would stop here about what's really been on my mind, I wont have the words for it, or the heart. Some other time, some other place maybe.

So I'll just talk about my Corporate Grooming Lessons, my business school first month experience, first time away from home experience and everything in between.

Everyone's about a foot taller here, I feel sickeningly inferior - body image wise. Sometimes, when I get up to answer from my desk, I have a feeling that even standing I'm reaching to the same height as when everyone else is sitting.

People are not as competitive as I thought they would be, well, you cannot be sure I guess, since the exams have another month to go and again, I'm in HR. So yeah.

I've realized that I'm not a friendly person. People have made so many friends and so many numbers in their cell phones and so many movies and shopping trips to Colaba. My counter stands on one friend, and a few (very few) acquaintances. I'd like to believe that I take time, but again, as one of my classmates pointed out as my personality feedback in class "I'm not interested in people". Eitherway, its just a phase, everything is. Impermanence, remember.

I've been debating whether that last punctuation should have been a full stop or a question mark, I wrote it for here or for myself? I dont know. I really dont.

Since the last month, I've realized, if at any point you get stuck in a discussion or a case in your Business Class, the answer will most definitely revolve somewhere around Leadership, Teamwork and Goals. Not kidding. I'm going to revise this list soon, and I'm going to be very very pissed off if at the end of two years my answer doesnt change.

Mumbai should have a monsoon break over a summer vacation. Its moist, dirty, slippery, sticky and bloody wet. In my mind for now, rains are a rich man's delight, great from a high up building floor with AC working and a warm coffee mug in hand. It sucks when you have to walk in it from the station all the way to the hostel, with a backpack and a laptop bag in the hand and you cant find a rickshaw and you're thinking of the warden's face when she sees you at the gate - late. Irritating.

I've started eating a lot. I'm always thinking that the next meal might not turn out that good, so I just start stacking it in my stomach I guess. I've had the biggest craving for home cooked Dal-Chawal, and its sad to think that the earliest I'll get it will be Diwali. On the positive side thankfully the Rotis are not as thick, one problem out of the way, good.

I have gotten my first laptop, its a very ok Lappy we got by the college, but its mine, I looooove it! I carry it with me everywhere, and its an acer, so it not particularly feather weight. Its not even funny.

I thought there's a certain way girls smell and everyone's body has a unique fragrance and how deoderants are so artificial. That was until I had travelled in Mumbai Local Trains. Outlooks change, you know. Enter, Nike Woman.

For the most part though, I dont mind the local trains at all, the city would come to a standstill if weren't for these. By the way, First Class is no First Class, its a waste. Never buy it, if you can afford ten minutes to but the second class ticket.

Alright, I really need to crib and use this blog for its rightful purpose of existence - to vent out frustrations. There are no geysers in my hostel bathrooms. Its raining and cold water in the shower at 6:30 am is like being electrocuted, even worse than that if you have to shampoo, and condition, and wash clothes, stack of them thanks to the damn rain. And..and everytime after you use it, you bring your soap and shampoo back to your room and lock everything up. You lock before sleeping. You lock when you go to the bathroom. You lock your food. I once had a dream that my lovely Chakli from Indore got stolen. Aaah, breathe easy, just a nightmare. Lock the chakli, check.

More on hostel and a lot more on hostel facilities, coming right up, soon. But for now, time to get to Managerial Eco. Later then.

Fun Updates

Things are, well, relatively calmer. Now that I have something definite on my to-do list atleast or two years, which also by the way requires a lot of commitment and hard work. I'm scared too, people say business schools suck, you know. Sheh.. I dont want to use this word "You know!". And I dont want to use "Sweet", "Cute" and "like". Maybe I should include frowns and sarcasm in my not-to-do list too, now since I'm at it, but then on second thoughts without these, i'll have no ugly sense of humour left to entertain my friends. Huh.
I'm going to be leaving soon, in a week precisely. And of all the other things that I've been thinking about, Mummy-Papa top the list. I'll miss them so much :( Other things include - Bed tea, Washed and ironed clothes, Landline Phone and Upmaa :( P.S. I will update this list, when I get more hands-on experience.

Trash-can-of-a-movie-update: Idiocracy
Review: Shit Stupid. I have too much time on my hands.

Movie-I'm-Dieng-to-watch: Sex and the City
Reason: Sex and the City

Movie-waiting-on-my-harddrive: Planet Earth Complete Series
Reason-its-still-waiting: They had a ugly crocodile scene in the first few minutes of 'Caves', I shut the entire thing off then.

Last-est-Movie-I-Saw: I'm a cyborg, but that's okay.
Review: Very sweet. A must watch. ("Sweet", here I go again).

Also, I happened to take local transport in my city two days ago, and guess what I discovered, Chivalry, my girls, isnt dead yet! :) It was a lot of fun. Rain catalyzed it too actually. What else? I'm bored. And I'm hungry. I have a really great joke on my cell phone (after so long)and no balance (annoyed). Also, I just recently finished my long time overhauled project at work. YAY! Cant't wait to get paid! Say hey! Also, they told me if I ever get free time on weekends in college, I can still work for them part-time and earn some pocket money. Its a good feeling to be wanted :)

Does everyone else daydream just as much? As in, say, half the time that you're free? I just keep thinking about random things I'd like to have. Like a small cozy apartment with a huge chunk of it as my bedroom. Huha! And a glass closet and a huge sofa and that book by Marquez I'm dieng to read and.. and... and.. You get my point. The last I caught myself thinking was, I wish I had a big black sassy SUV for myself. Maybe throw in jet dark glares and a suede waist coat. Heh, the funny part is - I dont even know how to drive. Ha.

On other fronts, I'm deleting my Orkut account for the nth time now. I figure, its more a evesdropping, and satiate your scepticism deal than anything else. First of, nobody knows what to talk to that long lost 8th grader friend, who by the way used to be fat as a pumpkin back then. After all the yeah you've changed and the couple of whats ups and whats news, I dont know what the hell to talk. And then ofcourse there are those testimonials (a lot of people have begun to refer those as "testis" by the way, umm, uhh). The next time I make a new one (ACCOUNT!, jeez!), my friends are just gonna be like, "Again?". They'd probably not even add me. Nobody likes there fans' numbers dwindling all the time. Thats not good for your public image.

So ok, thats it for now. I can only take so much soliloquy.

(the)fence

Just how many times does it happen that you want to jump over the fence and for once feel what it's like to decide everything on your own? So many millions of times that you've envisioned that place in your mind? So many plans, so many dreams. Just how badly you want it - Uninterference, that is. And you've worked for it, done all you can. And you're right on the cliff, just the edge - all you need now is to jump off - and not care. Just let go. And then, someone moves the chroma screen from the front of your eyes. And you're back to where you started, a neverending trap which ultimately goes nowhere. Petty makebeliefs. Its a sick, sick world.

On 'Doing Nothing'

I've noticed (in a serious tone) how I hardly have any conventionally profound thoughts on my blog of late, its all casual everyday yaa yaa yikkety yak. Hehe.. I 'll continue the trend. Gladly (takes a bow).

I read somewhere once, that we do not have enough time to do all the nothing that we want to do. When I passed my 12th, and opted for Journalism as a career over Engineering, you can well imagine the uproar in my family. My Dad being an engineer and all. So yeah, my college's a joke, to them. People who don't get selected in Engineering or Medicine, study Arts. I've come to realize how rooted this mentality is in our Social Outlooks. Isn't it innate in all of us that Musicians and Artists don't earn enough. Don't we all unanimously agree that Management, Medicine and Engineering are the most lucrative career choices and hence quite obvious. Well, I've been thinking, its quite sad.

Are there more people in the world who don't know what exactly they want to do? Ok, to put it better, are there more people like me who want to do a lot of everything in their lives?
I often think who would I be if I didn't HAVE to be what I have become. What would I do with my life if I didn't have any lists of to-do set apart by society to succumb to. What would I really

want to do if I wasn't answerable to anyone.

Lots of things.

Work in an NGO.

Teach.

Travel.

Learn Music.

Learn Painting.

Get a degree in English Literature.

Become a traveller guide.

Get formal training in World Dances.

Photography.

Work as a Social Activist for Women Upliftment.

Work with the United Nations.

Cook.

Raise Kids.

Study Sociology.

A little bit of all of these.

A little bit of nothing.

More or less, none of this would suffice to the rigidity of a great career. Hopefully, I'll get enough time to do a whole lot of nothing in my life soon. After all, one life.
Aloha!

P.S. The two pictures above are my late night artwork on Paintbrush. They're my two most favourite. I've made two so far, umm, both my favourite :)

P.P.S. Also, dont be judging drawing capabilities by these. I'm a 'little' better freehand :) Hehe..

Indian Context

We were reading the 'Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs' in our Advertising class. The first block of needs are the Physiologial needs, the ones which are the most primitive to any living form, undistinguishable from any other living form. Such as, for example Food. So, our lecture is going on, she draws the Hierarchy pyramid on the board, and writes in there -

Food, Shelter, Warmth, Sex. And then she quickly erases Sex and .. umm here - "You know in Indian context Sex is not applicable in basic needs". Sigh. Long sigh.



P.S. Anyone to whom I havent sent this link in email already. Please make it a point to read it. Made me smile the first thing in the morning today. I'm still at a loss of words, plenty on the happiness side though.

Wrath/ तामस

अगर जलना ही है
तो लोहे सा तो कम से कम ना जलो
की अपनी ही गर्मी मॆ खुद ही पिघल कर अपना वजूद मिटा लॆ

जलना ही है तो ज्वाला सा जलो
खुद जले तो जले
दुनिया को ही उजागर कर जाओ

किन्ही का तो अन्धेरा कम हो जयेगा