Sunday, October 19, 2008

Too Many Questions, Too Few Answers

Why? Why did you have to be in my life in the first place? And now, I don’t have a say in getting you out of it too? I want to get over it, but probably that’s what my problem is. I never get over anything. I always feel like it all goes on forever, it’s all connected. And just keeps getting complex by the day. And I keep accumulating these unforsaken memories, moment by moment, every day of my life. I’m getting old and tired you know. And there are quite a few I want to get rid of. And I never forget anything. And I don’t forgive myself. Ever. Probably the reasons why my sentences are short. Sometimes I think I’ll do everyone around me a little favour if I stop being this hopeful. I’m really such a fool.

The biggest fear, the one I think is a jinx to even utter, is that I’m not hopeful. And I don’t want to believe it, I’m the only person left now, who’s counting on me. And I don’t want to let myself down, again. I really just want to be strong. I really just want a plain life. Maybe even a petty and insignificant life, that’s great actually. Anything normal works.

I hate myself for letting this happen. Love, love me do. Sob sob sad lady.

4 comments:

Sonia said...

oye ki hua kudiye?? chill yaar...inni soni kudi k mu se aisi baatein vaddi ajeeb lagti hain!

you're not the only one counting on you....assi kya mar gaye hain oye? ;-)

by the way - you're not getting old...maybe you're tired. but old? well that gets a nope. tumhari twacha se tumhari umr ka pata hi nahi lagta :-) thoda araam kar...aur mitti paa in baato pe...

AJ said...

ohh I feel that I could write now just copy this post and write one for me..

same feelings exactly.

I hope u get over it.

AJ said...

s/hope/wish

Eternally Stupidified said...

Can't do much abt the getting old part ... and abt the memories .... U can try out partial brain damage.I was it in a movie .. it works out just fine !!

and

HAPPY DIWALI !!