Sunday, October 19, 2008

Too Many Questions, Too Few Answers

Why? Why did you have to be in my life in the first place? And now, I don’t have a say in getting you out of it too? I want to get over it, but probably that’s what my problem is. I never get over anything. I always feel like it all goes on forever, it’s all connected. And just keeps getting complex by the day. And I keep accumulating these unforsaken memories, moment by moment, every day of my life. I’m getting old and tired you know. And there are quite a few I want to get rid of. And I never forget anything. And I don’t forgive myself. Ever. Probably the reasons why my sentences are short. Sometimes I think I’ll do everyone around me a little favour if I stop being this hopeful. I’m really such a fool.

The biggest fear, the one I think is a jinx to even utter, is that I’m not hopeful. And I don’t want to believe it, I’m the only person left now, who’s counting on me. And I don’t want to let myself down, again. I really just want to be strong. I really just want a plain life. Maybe even a petty and insignificant life, that’s great actually. Anything normal works.

I hate myself for letting this happen. Love, love me do. Sob sob sad lady.

5 comments:

Red Eyes said...

Hello, this is my first time here and I'm looking forward to returning. I hope you will find the time for a counter visit so we can stay connected. I find your blog very interesting and would like to follow it. I also see we share some interests i.e. I see one of your favourite movies is babel, did you like the story, what do you think about it in the way GLOBALISATION is linked to the tower of babel?

Sonia Gaud said...

oye ki hua kudiye?? chill yaar...inni soni kudi k mu se aisi baatein vaddi ajeeb lagti hain!

you're not the only one counting on you....assi kya mar gaye hain oye? ;-)

by the way - you're not getting old...maybe you're tired. but old? well that gets a nope. tumhari twacha se tumhari umr ka pata hi nahi lagta :-) thoda araam kar...aur mitti paa in baato pe...

AJ said...

ohh I feel that I could write now just copy this post and write one for me..

same feelings exactly.

I hope u get over it.

AJ said...

s/hope/wish

AM said...

Can't do much abt the getting old part ... and abt the memories .... U can try out partial brain damage.I was it in a movie .. it works out just fine !!

and

HAPPY DIWALI !!