Friday, January 21, 2011

And to feel you're alive>Bombay my lover, my whore

I finally felt something today. As in, I feel love everyday and I feel pretty every other day, but something beyond just those scrawny everyday me and something originally and uniquely me. I couldn't stop smiling. And hear you me, it happened twice in this week. So amazing how it all just comes staring back at you one day, from nowhere.

It's all a big wad of mashed up paint inside my head still, but I want to write. I want to fucking write. And you know why? Cause I felt like it twice this week. Like this whole sea of stories inside me that I want to scream out to the world. That if I could just sit down with a quiet empty house and just write it all out today. Not get up, just bring it all out. Just keep feeding me the sun.

Just saw Dhobhi Ghat, I was so moved. Such that I could still cry for her. It was so beautifully sad. So magnificently sad. I couldn't believe it. I was clenching my teeth and my nails kept digging into my partner's arms, I couldn't take the sadness. And it doesn't have an end, such is life. It was all these people coming together and then get separated. Just like that. We think too much. We like results. We definitely likes our "Whys?" As in, to that, why? Some things just are. Not good, not bad, they are what they are. And then its gone. Just like that, such is life. Chaotic, meaningless, beyond reason and logic. I loved the feature film. I could just cry now. Like I said Beauty. And I thought I'd just lost it. I thought ever since I moved this city I had stopped finding beauty in things and today I did. And it inspired me. One.

I also just finished "A Million Little Pieces". After very long, a tad too long, I read a book the way I read books. I couldn't keep it down. I couldn't stop stop thinking about the story. It was about a man who was alcoholic and is in a treatment center trying to quit. It was about addiction. It was about weakness. About being human. But also it was about taking responsibility. It was about putting yourself to test. It was everyone's story. I've seen "The Elegent Universe" but really this is the theory of everything. Tao te Ching. You should read, or this post will forever be a puzzle to you. Or life. I dont know. I really dont. But I need to write. Two.

6 comments:

Hussain Haidry said...

A Million Little Pieces is one of my favourites! You could cry yourself out on the first page, even before the book begins:

"The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.

I broke something, Old Man.

How badly is it broken?

It's in a million little pieces.

I'm afraid I can't help you.

Why?

There's nothing you can do.

Why?

It can't be fixed.

Why?

It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces."

Subhajit said...

Nice piece pushing me to put my thoughts into words more often.

Good one!

Nas said...

Hi!
I'm an new follower.

Interesting post, and very thought provoking indeed.

The book sounds really good, I'll add it to my 'to-read' list

:)

Instinctive Curiosity said...

@ Hussain

Of course. I loved it so much. Have you read his other one? "My Friend Leonard" is it? How did you like it?

@ Subhajit

You should write then! No stopping! :)

@ Nas

Well, glad you liked it! :) Do read the book, it'll speak for itself.

Aashriya said...

Love the way you write Nainy !
Spontaneous and honest =)

twinkle said...

Hi i am new to this. Read ur blog and omehow its something everyone has felt at sum point in life. Forced me to sit and think.

p.s loved the way you jump from one topic to other