Thursday, July 19, 2012

Re-reading, re-inventing, re-thought and relief.

The post before this. That made me smile so hard. This part:

I could be a hero now, or I could lose it all again, at once. What do I do? Do I do what? I’ll see what I do. I always end up doing something other than the plan anyway. Rights are too romantic. I need some aggression, I yearn some power. Some original game. Feel like the bad guy. Some flak. Or sympathy. Anything other than lucky and blessed, so fucking degrading.
I wasn't a hero, but I did do something. It took a lot of courage and it broke many hearts, but it was the right thing to do. It took this boy, and several other boys, and girls, and stories, and books, and music to do it. I'm glad its over. 

But to think of the other things. I do have some genuinely interesting problems. And plenty aggression, its now giving way to look like spirit and passion to me. It should be?

I've turned to be a terribly vulnerable over-thinking do-gooder. A combination of which will keep you occupied (and sad) for days in a row. And you wont even know why. So Priya told me the other day (like she's said so many times in the past) to please be the bitch that you are. Sly doesn't cut it for Priya, you should know.

My old life sucked ass. And Priya was an anchor. Pulled me together and kept me sane. And loved me unconditionally. And now she's getting married. SHE IS! :) Bas, itna hi kehna tha. That, and that I hadnt written in very long, so that too.

And I do have my own set of brown eyes to stare into. Or are they grey? I dont know. I'm not into eyes so much anymore.They're not important.

1 comment:

Sonia said...

The past that sucked ass is the stuff that will sell your celebrity autobiography with the tagline of 'dark secrets revealed in this bestseller' ;-) I don't know any great person who has had a straigt-forward life! Storms make oaks take deeper root.