A Blog Well Waited

Week 2 in Deutschland. Sitting in the international library and wildly ecstatic for overhearing English being spoken by two elderly British gentlemen discussing politics. English, ja, since most of the time my ears have been feasting on the mighty German.

Yes, I finally made the move. To Germany. Why? Because the opportunity came and it didn't sound half bad and frankly I've been in a anywhere-but-here kinda mode since a few months.

So last month, while everyone soaked in the Christmas cheer, Him and I packed up our tiny Mumbai apartment, bid farewells to the family and moved to Deutschland.

Nothing prepares for Germany. Not even learning German on Duolingo. Nope. The small expat community online looks lively enough, sure, but no, you ain't seen Germany yet till you're stranded on a U-Bahn stop with three fat old ladies who make absurd hand gestures at you saying "Nien Englischhhhxyz xytjefjfhhfj". What? Who's being racist? I'm being accurate yo, phonetically of course.

Leaving is hard they say. But this is the super power I discovered about myself last month. I left quite happily. And not just the people, I was completely okay leaving behind things, home, infinite boxes full of stuff that at one time I absolutely had to have for my life to go on. Fantastic. But it's the arriving, the landing that I'm struggling with. Usual expat blues, I'm being told. English speakers are less, and English speaking jobs lesser still. So, the bad news is - I'm unemployed. Also, the good news is - I'm unemployed. If I told my past self that I'm right in the middle of Europe with no presentations due today, tomorrow or the next few months. I'd be shooting rainbows out of my ass. So, I'm conditioning myself to being free so much and then to utilize this free time effectively.

Conflict 2: Cold. I've got to conquer this devil. I'm a summer child, yeah.Winters make me melancholic, winters make me sad, uncomfortable, oh and immobile. I had this discussion with myself and Him when we took this decision. And it struck me then, if I keep chasing the summer suns forever, I'm cordoning off half the planet for myself already. Just like that. And that made me terribly sad. So, I packed my ear muffs and jumped right in. Also a sack full inners, leg warmers, woolen sockies, hats and gloves. In other news, they're forecasting a snow storm next week. Yes, FML. My ears ring, my toes and fingers feel like icicles and with my five foot frame, I look like a stuffed baby bear walking the streets. A cute and cuddly bear but a bear alright.

I made a huge to-do list sometime in 2008, that I stumbled upon today and I thought, hell, there will never be a better time than this. I don't have a job, I know a total of zero people (except Him) and a big to-do will be such a blessing.

So, that's all the updates from my part of the world, check back later and thank you listening to my chatter.

Yes, Twitter and non-believer in the same sentence - sue me! And the ultimate reason for our ADD.

What in the world is Twitter anyway? Every morning I come to work and as a reflex sign into my Gmail, work email, facebook and well, twitter. Once done with the rest, I stare at Twitter. and I dont know what the fuck to write. I mean seriously, what could be happening? At every moment?

I'm completely missing the point. The stuff people write on Twitter, is meant for who? Themselves? Followers? Is it soliloquy? Who's reading my shouts anyway. And it's an ongoing stream of links and disjointed and disconnected conversations one after the other, after the other.

Like imagine this, you're sitting in your living room and there's the Ninja Blogger, the Ms. I'm from LSR-you idiots dont know literature, there's the local rockstar who thinks he's made it big with 700 followers, there's me - the I dont know I have nothing really to share person, the insane vagina lover blogger I follow like a maniac, there's the Indian TV reporter whose name rhymes with Marka Mut.

Wokay, so great y'all, glad to have you all in my conversation streams.

Me: Morning! Friday already! I love it!
Marka: Government should set up a collegium. Representatives of govt, opposition and two -three eminent citizens shd be part of it.
Me: Umm, ok.
Ninja: " Behold all is vanity and striving after wind" Ecclesiates
Ninja: Just ordered some of my pics from last year's Boulder Marathon. See all my pics here http://t.co/Bze3iEr via @brPhototweets
Me: Yeah, about that...
Vagina Chick: Each time I remember that Gossip Girl isn't on again until APRIL 18 I feel so much irrational anger. Also filed under: THAT KISS. GAH. HATE.
Vagina Chick: @spitts27 Totally agree, they're awesome! Email me your address and I'll send you one :) nicole(at)coleismuchbetterthanthat(dot)com
Me: What the..
Vagina Chick: YES, THE FIRE ALARM WORKS. STOP TESTING IT. AH. DEAF.
Vagina Chick: Don't keep your email open all day. Don't keep your email open all day. Don't keep your email open all day. #trainingmyself
Me: Dude, seriously calm down!!
Me means LSR: @dramoli I agree though- since data collection in villages thro health/ anganwadi workers is questionable - we may not fully know incidence
Me means LSR: Factual Evidence shows that women who read are way better to cope with life threatening situations than men. (Men? Shit, did anyone say that M word? I hate Men? I'm gay.)
Me means LSR: @MEN you're all sick rapists. Let's fight. Yes, thats why they teach us at our college, how to pick fights with anyone of oppsite sex, at the minutest of your inconvenience, oh that and verbal vomit.
Me: hehe.. I totally made that up. No, they dont "actually" (admittedly) say that.
Rockstar: Life is overrated. I like suicide. Seems the way to go for us all to be dead famous.
Me: Dead.. hehehheee.. you're funny. RT
Rockstar: I'm playing at Blue Frog tonight. come! And check out my pic with seven chicks totally ready to give me all www.twitpic.com/1245
Me: Yeah, you see, I'm at work an..
Rockstar: and here where I was at the beach, shaking my booty..oooohh yeah!!! www.twitpic.com/5677
Rockstar: And here - I had to show you that I "actually" know all these people! bit.ly.667/pic5 arre see to the right, that boxer shorts with "bum main dum" facing backwards, is mine!
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Ok, I'm now tired, but you see, this is a completely frustrating conversation - for anybody! I think people tweeting are running their conversation in mind and just dont give a shit for what is actually going on. And so many links, jeez, link to my blog, link to my eleven thousand photos that I now take since I have an iphone bitches, link to my rest of the post since i dont know how to write in 140 characters, link to my site, link to my contest, link to this post from some totally random guy just cause I think its RAD! NO. NO. NO. NO. You've got it totally wrong. Lets repeat once again - I did NOT sign up for spam. Did. NOT. Did not. And twitter is like spam on acid. And I will not contribute. Will. NOT. Will not.

And what are these hashtags that you randomly create and think the world has thoughts on the same and one fine day they'll all be collated and you'll be the guy who bought it to light. #pukeonmycouch #HoHoHellNo #sickbastardmustdie #kittykitty #myparentsroom #stomachflab #chotachetan #kaminikabmaregi #charliesheensinning (the last one was me, oh! come on! I think it's funny). No but seriously, these are not topics of public interest, or one where we all have a say in.

If one of you smartasses is now reiterating the same old - it's for me! and what I wanna say regardless of anyone hearing. Well, then this is massively confusing. So you wanna write things for yourself and not for others, but you want to say it on a public forum all the same. TIRED AND BORED. Still confused.


PS: If any of you actually clocked on those links for those pictures. Seriously, sympathy, you have a lot of time - get on Twitter. Oh and respect, for your general interest and curiosity in random people and their pictures.

“I’ve known people like them. They all have certain characteristics in common. They’re tough, because there’s a kind of toughness that’s found in the worst sorrow. They’re honest because the truth of what happened to them won’t let them lie. They’re angry, because they can’t forget the past or forgive it. And they’re lonely. Most of us pretend, with greater or lesser success, that the minute we live in is something we can share. But the past for every one of us is a desert island; and those like Khaled, who find themselves marooned there, are always alone.”
-Lin, Shataram

I like these lines. They make me smile, in respect, retrospect and nervousness. As they say, you only love in something or someone, the part which is you. Are you with me so far? Rephrasing, only that in you which is me, can hear what I’m saying. Probably the reason why the above bit has been ringing in my ears since last night.

P.S. Other than that, I’ve noticed that my capacity to swear at any random moment of my life (awake, semi awake and in almost sleeping states) has never been better. There is not a single context in the past one month or so which has been devoid of atleast a single F**k or Ch**t as my reaction. The latter is a lot more satiating phrase ofcourse. F**k is vague, there’s way too many intangible and softer uses for the word, in turn the real glory is lost in the chaos. Whereas, Ch**t is direct, in the face, no shitting and damn serious. I love that, and the sound of it.

The Happy Economics Intervention

So, life is happening. Meanwhile my love for Economics continues. Its probably my professor. ‘Boss’ has got it going for all of us I guess. This one time, really long back, I was talking to Rachit about simple pleasures, happiness, real happiness.. and we started talking about it in terms of Maxima/Minima on our Life axis. The point is he loved Maths so much that he could explain life with it. Same with Me and my Economics. Everything I learn in Economics, just comes to life. It’s just the way things happen to us/with us. I might be sounding smitten by it and extremely biased but to tell you the truth, I am smitten and extremely biased to Economics. For example: In Principles of Economics to Aid Individual Decisions: ‘People face tradeoff’. Uhh..YES! Yes please. ‘The cost of anything is what you give up to get it’. OR ‘Demand Function’, Price is inversely proportional to Quantity sold, happens? Anything too hard to attain in our lives, falls in the rarely attempted category. OR say Average Product never goes to zero, there is always some positive output if you put any effort/input, there is always something to gain out of almost everything we do.

Exams season gone by, yeah, my opinions are changing regarding people and general competitiveness. Some people work so hard, that when my mom asks me about my exam preparations, I just start narrating theirs. I as a rule for preparation sift through the subject matter and tuck myself goodnight at 11. That’s right, 11 PM. I just don’t want to stress out too much ;-)
By the way, the two overused terms from this month’s classes – ‘Core Competency’ and ‘Optimum Utilization’. All my answer sheets, no matter what subject, had to have these there somewhere. So not much is on, exams done with, weekend was fun, and so was Rock On. It’s amazing how my pocket money always gets completely exhausted at the last day of the month. Till the last one rupee coin. Anyway, cant wait for this month’s pocket money have a long list of things to buy, besides it’s my birthday month. That’s right.. YAY.

Oh yeah, funny incident, I was talking to my Mom the other day, and just as a part of greeting her Good morning I said ‘Ram Ram’, we say that in our family when we greet the elders, I just say it now when I feel home sick and want desperately to be belonging somewhere. As soon as I said it, my Mom was laughing. Saying that ‘Ram kahan se yaad aa gaye?’. Me being in a great mood that morning (rare phenomenon) I said, its an indication that I’m still looking for mine. ‘Kahin toh khoj shuru karni padegi’. I thought she’d be smiling and would start explicitly showering her so-sought-after blessings on me that I bought the subject up by myself, but instead --- she was laughing, yes, hysterically laughing. And she said, ‘Ram toh sambhal nahi paayenge’, you should start looking for ‘Krishna’.

Pout. Pout.