When I meet new people, which is a lot, I love meeting people. In my opinion they’re the only original non-spoilt-by-brands-and-advertisements and non-plagiarized source of ideas left in our Ctrl-C Ctrl-V world-o-rama.
Topic deviation, shit, ADD, now back. So when I meet new people, I was saying, I always ask about their families. Their parents, siblings, the way they’re bought up, home culture and the like. It interests me a lot. And I always end up feeling a little lost. On – what is –really- the right way to bring up children? The way my parents bought me up? Or the way everyone else is? I’m aware this is a massive generalization, but that is exactly what I intend.
My parents had very few rules, and the ones they did enforce had nothing to do with discipline. The one rule I’ve known and followed all my life, till today, is that we eat together. No matter what. You didn’t have to agree with anyone, if you don’t really accept the idea in your heart. Even if it’s the-dad or the-mom. You’re open to argue, at all levels, at all times. Every advice is well, just an advice. No one expects you to fully follow it. I was told “you shouldn’t be out so late”, as opposed to, “you cannot be out so late”. And I had the right to not follow it.
My mom always let me make my own mistakes. And they let me pay for it. I cant even fathom how hard that must have been. To know in your heart that your little daughter is being such a fool but not lose her by saying it to her face, and let her fall in front of your eyes, sit down-spirited, with a broken heart. And again, still not show a face of I-told-you-so. When I look back today, I know, there could not have been a better way.
No topic in my parents’ house is off limits. Really, I have spoken of condoms on my dinner table. And I can swear in my parents’ presence. Yes, in Hindi too. I must also add here, that if any of you think I’m from a super rich bollywood family, you got it all wrong. I come from a typical middle class family, my mom’s a housewife, she comes from a small town in Maharashtra and my Dad’s an engineer, and my little brother is well, annoying and goofy, to say the least. So what really stood them apart from all the others trying to be friends parents is that they as individuals were the most receptive to change. Changes around them , in ways of the world and in their children.
I had my first beer with my Dad, and the next 30 following it too, before I started going out with my friends. It’s not that they encouraged Alcohol. It’s just that they respected and treated us as adults, when we needed to be. Respected my choices. I think it was that freedom given to me, which makes me feel responsible as an adult till today.
This post is not about how lucky I am to save my money for alcohol and just drink from my home’s refrigerator, or how I can make dirty jokes on dinner table and my parents don’t even blink. It’s more about how I’m NOT two different people when I’m home and otherwise. It’s about how amazing I feel to be accepted just the way I am, just the way I’ve chosen to be and make of myself. There is an infinite amount of reassurance you get when you’re accepted lovingly by the people who know your shortcomings the most.
I plan to get married soon, and I want to have kids one day. I just hope that when my kids grow up they look back and feel the same about their parents as I do for my Mom and Dad.
ON A VERY-VERY DIFFERENT NOTE
I’m no hurry to have kids yet. Shaadi tak theek hain yaar, bachche jyaada ho jayegi mazaak mazaak main. Aur ye bhavna main khaasi tarah se vyakt bhi kar chuki hun. Ab haal hi ki baat le lijiye.
Meri Ma ne Naani ban ne ki mannat maangi hain, mujhe kal hi pata chala. Mera vichaar ye tha is par ki ‘Maa, Naani ban ne ke liye shaadi ki kya aavashyakta hain, who toh aap yun bhi ban sakti ho’ :P
Is par, ek atyant hi Punjabi tone main ‘badtameez’ kehke Maa ne phone kaat diya. Hehe.. Maze hi aa gaye.
Ab itna senti diya hain, toh nahi ruk paungi, sun hi lo.
“..Ye Zindagi Hain Mom Ki,
Tu Mom Pe Lutaaye Ja.. “
Aap sabhi ka din sukhad ho. Vote karna na bhuliyega.
Jai Raam Ji Ki.