This is no onset to winter in Mumbai, this is a rude tease to everyone from colder places. And after spending the entire day in my room, down with fever, and watching 14 episodes of How I Met Your Mother back to back. I want.... second season.
I dont want any thoughtful movies. I want no deep meaning cinema. Hell, I dont even want any chick flicks. After I forced myself to read through the first few pages of The White Tiger, I'm not in mood for books. And after I gave away my new year dress to Joyee, can the damn New Year please start already?
So I got so kicked after Dasvidaniya, I made my own little list of 10 Things to do before I die. No, I'm not sharing it here. You think I'd share mine first??!! Ha! And I have edited it even more than I have edited my CV, and that is a lottt. The point is, my tenth position is still empty. I thought I'd have a million things I'd wanna have, looks like its just 9, even those look a little repetitive.
I just wanna go home. I'm missing home so much, its crazy. But there are three conferences coming up and not to forget the trashy end terms. This is stupid. I want a holiday, I wanna go home :(
30 days from today, thats the nearest date that I can go :( And what kind of a crazy whacko college has even the 25th and 31st Dec as working days? And what kinda of a Communication class makes you write 30 page proposals? And I thought A/C was all numbers, but no sir, there are cases (here too!?), and to be answered in a particular format. Someone should tell these crazy bald A/C professors, noone really gives a shit about there stupid formats and columned shits, uh... we have graphs now. And some stuckup asshole FIN major doing them for the rest. So why is he wasting my time again?
Gawd, my life was so set, I was doing my low key trashy writing and in my small little city it was acceptable standards also. And then some crazy fool got all the money talk and MBA in my brains..
Thats right, Priya, I hate you. You sorry ass.
P.S. Sorry about the language.
And if you're a heartbroken FIN major now, big shit.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Gooey Eeeky Things
A lizard fell on my head the day I came back to hostel from Diwali vacation, my mom said its good luck, I’m still waiting for the goodluck. Completely! I try the hardest in my life to not face this ugly creature and I just cant escape it I guess. One time (exactly an year ago), I was studying late at night it was say around 2 AM. I rarely sit on the study table and study. So I was on my bedroom floor with all my papers and it was really silent.
Suddenly I hear this funny paper sound. But I let is go, thinking its windy. And then I hear it again.. LOUDER! I get up and look around.. to my complete dismay and HORROR.. I see these two lizards making out (or whatever they were doing) on my desk! I wanted to scream... it was so gross. I hate lizards.. and they eek me out. They are so creepy. Eww.. and I was so scared. I am very scared of anything that crawls or any kind of reptiles.
Sooo.. I RUN to my mom's room, wake her up and I tell her that there are two lizards on my desk and I dont know what to do. My poor mom who was so sleepy told me to just sleep beside her.. but I was so scared I couldn't fall asleep at all after that. There is no moral in the story. Except for the fact, that, I hate Lizards so much. They're horrible. And especially when they're romantic.
This is true, I remember cause I put this back from an email I wrote to a friend that night. Gross, man. And today morning, just a few days since my recent lizard encounter, the damn thing was crawling right under my bed upto my cupboard. Shit. Does anyone know any sure shot measures to get them out of my poor small cramped room? Its my ugliest nightmare if this thing gets to my clothes hanging at the back of my door.
Other than that, I’m ve been cribbing so much about how I’m so poor. My roomies dragged me to that new Inorbit Mall in Vashi, and, shoot, its full of all this great stuff. That pink Marks and Spencer scarf, and the brown Benetton Jacket, oh and that Red kurta from Global Indian (or whatever that shop is called). Which reminds me, what is that shop Adamis? And how the hell in the world do you pronounce it, I think it’s a grossly bad move if its an Indian company, even people who’re studying business like me get intimidated and not up for it, its more crowd repulsive and weirding out, that attractive. Anyway, on the whole, I ended up feeling terrible that Sunday and so utterly insignificant amoungst all those awesomely dressed girlie crowd. I need money. Maaaaaannnnneeeeyyyyy Mannnnn! I wish my dad was a terrorist, or atleast an MLA. :-/ Huh.
Anyway, I have this article to read for my HR in Services Sector Class, its on HR Practices in Japan, its 18 pages. But I'm told it gets better later, I just don’t know how many pages should I skip to get to later.
Suddenly I hear this funny paper sound. But I let is go, thinking its windy. And then I hear it again.. LOUDER! I get up and look around.. to my complete dismay and HORROR.. I see these two lizards making out (or whatever they were doing) on my desk! I wanted to scream... it was so gross. I hate lizards.. and they eek me out. They are so creepy. Eww.. and I was so scared. I am very scared of anything that crawls or any kind of reptiles.
Sooo.. I RUN to my mom's room, wake her up and I tell her that there are two lizards on my desk and I dont know what to do. My poor mom who was so sleepy told me to just sleep beside her.. but I was so scared I couldn't fall asleep at all after that. There is no moral in the story. Except for the fact, that, I hate Lizards so much. They're horrible. And especially when they're romantic.
This is true, I remember cause I put this back from an email I wrote to a friend that night. Gross, man. And today morning, just a few days since my recent lizard encounter, the damn thing was crawling right under my bed upto my cupboard. Shit. Does anyone know any sure shot measures to get them out of my poor small cramped room? Its my ugliest nightmare if this thing gets to my clothes hanging at the back of my door.
Other than that, I’m ve been cribbing so much about how I’m so poor. My roomies dragged me to that new Inorbit Mall in Vashi, and, shoot, its full of all this great stuff. That pink Marks and Spencer scarf, and the brown Benetton Jacket, oh and that Red kurta from Global Indian (or whatever that shop is called). Which reminds me, what is that shop Adamis? And how the hell in the world do you pronounce it, I think it’s a grossly bad move if its an Indian company, even people who’re studying business like me get intimidated and not up for it, its more crowd repulsive and weirding out, that attractive. Anyway, on the whole, I ended up feeling terrible that Sunday and so utterly insignificant amoungst all those awesomely dressed girlie crowd. I need money. Maaaaaannnnneeeeyyyyy Mannnnn! I wish my dad was a terrorist, or atleast an MLA. :-/ Huh.
Anyway, I have this article to read for my HR in Services Sector Class, its on HR Practices in Japan, its 18 pages. But I'm told it gets better later, I just don’t know how many pages should I skip to get to later.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Fallout Girl
I heard someone say once that every song ends, but that’s no reason to not enjoy it. One ends and one starts, that’s what they say, right? This has been weird year. There are parts which feel like yesterday and some moments lost which feel like light years ago. I miss those all, and I miss those people. I know its not the year end yet, but I want it to end cause I can’t wait to start afresh. Every year, and with every fallout I always promise myself that whoever’s fault it is, I’m gonna get out of it being a better person. And my heart knows I try. I figure I’ve been reckless with a few of my friends, judging them, ignoring them. The truth is I’m scared, feel vulnerable, feel afraid to not be accepted. There was a line in Into the Wild, it said ‘it’s not about how strong you are, it’s about how strong you feel’. And I know I’m stronger than that, I can be a better person for this. Courage is not always winning. Courage is losing and then wake up each morning saying I’ll try again today.
I’ll try again today.
From the playlist, Lately, Helio Sequence and Phir Dekhiye, Rock On.
P.S. Priya I miss you too much, come back! Or atleast get a freakin night out and come to Bombay.
P.P.S And yeah, stop obsessing about Obama. All of you.
Wokay, gotta rush, Strat Man class now and then HR in Service Sector. Aargh! Yeah, yeah, you all have a good life too.
I’ll try again today.
From the playlist, Lately, Helio Sequence and Phir Dekhiye, Rock On.
P.S. Priya I miss you too much, come back! Or atleast get a freakin night out and come to Bombay.
P.P.S And yeah, stop obsessing about Obama. All of you.
Wokay, gotta rush, Strat Man class now and then HR in Service Sector. Aargh! Yeah, yeah, you all have a good life too.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Wishlist
I could use company and a few drinks.
I need a new book in my life.
(Mean)while
“मनवा में मेरे आँधी हैं उठी,
और स्तब्ध खड़ी हूँ मैं;
साँसों में बाँध अपनी ही साँस,
निः शब्द खड़ी हूँ मैं;
दुनिया से जीती, जीती ख़ुद से हारी,
बस ध्वस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं;
आईना मैं, और अक्स मैं,
मद-मस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं।”
“मन कि दशा से लड़ती मैं भिडती,
विश्वस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं;
मेरी लाज मैं हूँ, चुनर भी मैं हूँ,
चुनर पे दाग़ भी मैं।”
“मैं श्याम-श्वेत, बादल मैं रेत,
निर्जर-सी छरी हूँ मैं;
अन्ध्यारी रात दीपक में बात,
स्वप्निल-सी परी हूँ मैं;
कंचन कि काया, अपना ही साया,
बस ख़ुद से डरी हूँ मैं;
लकड़ी में गीली, थोडी सहमी सी,
थम-थम के चली हूँ मैं;
विश्वस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं,
निः शब्द खड़ी हूँ मैं,
सर्वत्र खड़ी हूँ मैं,
सर्वत्र खड़ी हूँ मैं।”
I need a new book in my life.
(Mean)while
“मनवा में मेरे आँधी हैं उठी,
और स्तब्ध खड़ी हूँ मैं;
साँसों में बाँध अपनी ही साँस,
निः शब्द खड़ी हूँ मैं;
दुनिया से जीती, जीती ख़ुद से हारी,
बस ध्वस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं;
आईना मैं, और अक्स मैं,
मद-मस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं।”
“मन कि दशा से लड़ती मैं भिडती,
विश्वस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं;
मेरी लाज मैं हूँ, चुनर भी मैं हूँ,
चुनर पे दाग़ भी मैं।”
“मैं श्याम-श्वेत, बादल मैं रेत,
निर्जर-सी छरी हूँ मैं;
अन्ध्यारी रात दीपक में बात,
स्वप्निल-सी परी हूँ मैं;
कंचन कि काया, अपना ही साया,
बस ख़ुद से डरी हूँ मैं;
लकड़ी में गीली, थोडी सहमी सी,
थम-थम के चली हूँ मैं;
विश्वस्त खड़ी हूँ मैं,
निः शब्द खड़ी हूँ मैं,
सर्वत्र खड़ी हूँ मैं,
सर्वत्र खड़ी हूँ मैं।”
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Too Many Questions, Too Few Answers
Why? Why did you have to be in my life in the first place? And now, I don’t have a say in getting you out of it too? I want to get over it, but probably that’s what my problem is. I never get over anything. I always feel like it all goes on forever, it’s all connected. And just keeps getting complex by the day. And I keep accumulating these unforsaken memories, moment by moment, every day of my life. I’m getting old and tired you know. And there are quite a few I want to get rid of. And I never forget anything. And I don’t forgive myself. Ever. Probably the reasons why my sentences are short. Sometimes I think I’ll do everyone around me a little favour if I stop being this hopeful. I’m really such a fool.
The biggest fear, the one I think is a jinx to even utter, is that I’m not hopeful. And I don’t want to believe it, I’m the only person left now, who’s counting on me. And I don’t want to let myself down, again. I really just want to be strong. I really just want a plain life. Maybe even a petty and insignificant life, that’s great actually. Anything normal works.
I hate myself for letting this happen. Love, love me do. Sob sob sad lady.
The biggest fear, the one I think is a jinx to even utter, is that I’m not hopeful. And I don’t want to believe it, I’m the only person left now, who’s counting on me. And I don’t want to let myself down, again. I really just want to be strong. I really just want a plain life. Maybe even a petty and insignificant life, that’s great actually. Anything normal works.
I hate myself for letting this happen. Love, love me do. Sob sob sad lady.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
“I’ve known people like them. They all have certain characteristics in common. They’re tough, because there’s a kind of toughness that’s found in the worst sorrow. They’re honest because the truth of what happened to them won’t let them lie. They’re angry, because they can’t forget the past or forgive it. And they’re lonely. Most of us pretend, with greater or lesser success, that the minute we live in is something we can share. But the past for every one of us is a desert island; and those like Khaled, who find themselves marooned there, are always alone.”
-Lin, Shataram
I like these lines. They make me smile, in respect, retrospect and nervousness. As they say, you only love in something or someone, the part which is you. Are you with me so far? Rephrasing, only that in you which is me, can hear what I’m saying. Probably the reason why the above bit has been ringing in my ears since last night.
P.S. Other than that, I’ve noticed that my capacity to swear at any random moment of my life (awake, semi awake and in almost sleeping states) has never been better. There is not a single context in the past one month or so which has been devoid of atleast a single F**k or Ch**t as my reaction. The latter is a lot more satiating phrase ofcourse. F**k is vague, there’s way too many intangible and softer uses for the word, in turn the real glory is lost in the chaos. Whereas, Ch**t is direct, in the face, no shitting and damn serious. I love that, and the sound of it.
-Lin, Shataram
I like these lines. They make me smile, in respect, retrospect and nervousness. As they say, you only love in something or someone, the part which is you. Are you with me so far? Rephrasing, only that in you which is me, can hear what I’m saying. Probably the reason why the above bit has been ringing in my ears since last night.
P.S. Other than that, I’ve noticed that my capacity to swear at any random moment of my life (awake, semi awake and in almost sleeping states) has never been better. There is not a single context in the past one month or so which has been devoid of atleast a single F**k or Ch**t as my reaction. The latter is a lot more satiating phrase ofcourse. F**k is vague, there’s way too many intangible and softer uses for the word, in turn the real glory is lost in the chaos. Whereas, Ch**t is direct, in the face, no shitting and damn serious. I love that, and the sound of it.
Friday, September 19, 2008
BULLshit
So, ladies and gentlemen, I have no time. No, really. Not kidding, I have no time. I make my schedules everyday on my diary with a list of things to-do, few carried forward from yesterday’s, few from even before, some fresh emergency project completion items, some over ambitious plans; and a wishlist-type-to-do which include items like oil your hair, soak feet in warm water, take off the chapped nail paint from toes, read the new fiction book from Colaba whose bargaining price I gave my soul to, and the like.
So, I guess there is a reason people start breaking up when they go to business schools, not just because they cant give time to their needy, cutely, and oh-so-sexy counterparts, its also because they have no time for themselves (read personal grooming). My hair is thinning, I fear much much faster than the US recession. My complexion fluctuates like Indian Inflation as off late, majorly its always towards the bad news. An important contributor I must here give credit to, the Mumbai Moisture and its outstanding ability to invite dust and retain it, with every trip outside. And yes, my palms feel like a nasty marathon runner crocodile’s feet, thanks to the new found, weekly due liability of washing clothes.
Today in my Operations Management class, in the stream of handouts being passed around, one of them, I overlooked slightly for some paper which read “Thought of the Day”, my eyes lighted up! I studied arts for my graduation! Finally. Anything related to something from my earlier education, I couldn’t thank God enough for the opportunity I was provided to top my class, atleast once, just for discussing one handout. That’s enough too. My eyes already scouting for words like learning, life, love, truth, sanity, soul, purpose, righteousness, uncertainty… Sigh. I looked at the paper, was horrified to disbelief and starting writing this blog at the back of the handout.
Here, share the joy.
Thought of the Day
“Bull markets are born in despair, rise with skepticism, mature with optimism, and die with mania.”
-Franklin Templeton
Fuck, yeah.
So, I guess there is a reason people start breaking up when they go to business schools, not just because they cant give time to their needy, cutely, and oh-so-sexy counterparts, its also because they have no time for themselves (read personal grooming). My hair is thinning, I fear much much faster than the US recession. My complexion fluctuates like Indian Inflation as off late, majorly its always towards the bad news. An important contributor I must here give credit to, the Mumbai Moisture and its outstanding ability to invite dust and retain it, with every trip outside. And yes, my palms feel like a nasty marathon runner crocodile’s feet, thanks to the new found, weekly due liability of washing clothes.
Today in my Operations Management class, in the stream of handouts being passed around, one of them, I overlooked slightly for some paper which read “Thought of the Day”, my eyes lighted up! I studied arts for my graduation! Finally. Anything related to something from my earlier education, I couldn’t thank God enough for the opportunity I was provided to top my class, atleast once, just for discussing one handout. That’s enough too. My eyes already scouting for words like learning, life, love, truth, sanity, soul, purpose, righteousness, uncertainty… Sigh. I looked at the paper, was horrified to disbelief and starting writing this blog at the back of the handout.
Here, share the joy.
Thought of the Day
“Bull markets are born in despair, rise with skepticism, mature with optimism, and die with mania.”
-Franklin Templeton
Fuck, yeah.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wide Eyed Smiles
Yes,I figured (with prompt help from my friends and readers) that this post lacks explanation, and some context. So here it is, gladly so.
My friends and I, in the process of volunteering for Rotaract Club (Please look it up, if you're not aware of the initiative, and join!) went to a village in Navi Mumbai under a community health improvement program. The initiative is to reduce the child mortality rate and so one of the measure includes a regular blood check up and advising the women on how to take care of themselves during pregnancy.
Incidentally, in midst of all the running around and chaos, we couldn't ignore the curious faces, shy and yet unnerved with all the activity in their small school compound. So we all took up the chance and went to a few classes. Standard VII, III and I. We played quiz with them, gave chocolates, talked but to tell you the truth noting was enough. There was upsurge of such unsettling guilt, I didn't know how to conduct myself. Probably none of us did,but we tried. I guess we're still trying, trying to see if we can go back and teach couple of hours a week. Likhne ka kya hain, kuch hoga tab aur kahungi. Meanwhile. I'm here.
P.S. Maybe this post has a random stop, but its mostly cause my words are not powerful enough. I feel helpless.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Happy Economics Intervention
So, life is happening. Meanwhile my love for Economics continues. Its probably my professor. ‘Boss’ has got it going for all of us I guess. This one time, really long back, I was talking to Rachit about simple pleasures, happiness, real happiness.. and we started talking about it in terms of Maxima/Minima on our Life axis. The point is he loved Maths so much that he could explain life with it. Same with Me and my Economics. Everything I learn in Economics, just comes to life. It’s just the way things happen to us/with us. I might be sounding smitten by it and extremely biased but to tell you the truth, I am smitten and extremely biased to Economics. For example: In Principles of Economics to Aid Individual Decisions: ‘People face tradeoff’. Uhh..YES! Yes please. ‘The cost of anything is what you give up to get it’. OR ‘Demand Function’, Price is inversely proportional to Quantity sold, happens? Anything too hard to attain in our lives, falls in the rarely attempted category. OR say Average Product never goes to zero, there is always some positive output if you put any effort/input, there is always something to gain out of almost everything we do.
Exams season gone by, yeah, my opinions are changing regarding people and general competitiveness. Some people work so hard, that when my mom asks me about my exam preparations, I just start narrating theirs. I as a rule for preparation sift through the subject matter and tuck myself goodnight at 11. That’s right, 11 PM. I just don’t want to stress out too much ;-)
By the way, the two overused terms from this month’s classes – ‘Core Competency’ and ‘Optimum Utilization’. All my answer sheets, no matter what subject, had to have these there somewhere. So not much is on, exams done with, weekend was fun, and so was Rock On. It’s amazing how my pocket money always gets completely exhausted at the last day of the month. Till the last one rupee coin. Anyway, cant wait for this month’s pocket money have a long list of things to buy, besides it’s my birthday month. That’s right.. YAY.
Oh yeah, funny incident, I was talking to my Mom the other day, and just as a part of greeting her Good morning I said ‘Ram Ram’, we say that in our family when we greet the elders, I just say it now when I feel home sick and want desperately to be belonging somewhere. As soon as I said it, my Mom was laughing. Saying that ‘Ram kahan se yaad aa gaye?’. Me being in a great mood that morning (rare phenomenon) I said, its an indication that I’m still looking for mine. ‘Kahin toh khoj shuru karni padegi’. I thought she’d be smiling and would start explicitly showering her so-sought-after blessings on me that I bought the subject up by myself, but instead --- she was laughing, yes, hysterically laughing. And she said, ‘Ram toh sambhal nahi paayenge’, you should start looking for ‘Krishna’.
Pout. Pout.
Exams season gone by, yeah, my opinions are changing regarding people and general competitiveness. Some people work so hard, that when my mom asks me about my exam preparations, I just start narrating theirs. I as a rule for preparation sift through the subject matter and tuck myself goodnight at 11. That’s right, 11 PM. I just don’t want to stress out too much ;-)
By the way, the two overused terms from this month’s classes – ‘Core Competency’ and ‘Optimum Utilization’. All my answer sheets, no matter what subject, had to have these there somewhere. So not much is on, exams done with, weekend was fun, and so was Rock On. It’s amazing how my pocket money always gets completely exhausted at the last day of the month. Till the last one rupee coin. Anyway, cant wait for this month’s pocket money have a long list of things to buy, besides it’s my birthday month. That’s right.. YAY.
Oh yeah, funny incident, I was talking to my Mom the other day, and just as a part of greeting her Good morning I said ‘Ram Ram’, we say that in our family when we greet the elders, I just say it now when I feel home sick and want desperately to be belonging somewhere. As soon as I said it, my Mom was laughing. Saying that ‘Ram kahan se yaad aa gaye?’. Me being in a great mood that morning (rare phenomenon) I said, its an indication that I’m still looking for mine. ‘Kahin toh khoj shuru karni padegi’. I thought she’d be smiling and would start explicitly showering her so-sought-after blessings on me that I bought the subject up by myself, but instead --- she was laughing, yes, hysterically laughing. And she said, ‘Ram toh sambhal nahi paayenge’, you should start looking for ‘Krishna’.
Pout. Pout.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Old School
I was home for Rakhi this weekend and you what I realized.. Landline phones are awesome. It feels like a phone, looks like a phone, heavy receivers and a practical perceivable distance between the earpiece and the speaker phone. It would be such fun when I was in school, the phone would ring and I would know who it is even before I would pick the call, my childhood best pal Swati. And I would be so kicked, so red and so happy. Cell phones have ruined it all. Now we always know who it is before we take the call, and well, then sometimes when we don't take the call then. However, miss those days.
IMPPORTANT EDIT: Chirayu, none of this holds true for you. Better not chuck your cell phone anywhere and be too inspired by the post. You on the other hand should have a double battery backup and not be unreachable ever. Yeap, ever. Got that!? (Ha!)
IMPPORTANT EDIT: Chirayu, none of this holds true for you. Better not chuck your cell phone anywhere and be too inspired by the post. You on the other hand should have a double battery backup and not be unreachable ever. Yeap, ever. Got that!? (Ha!)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Big City Woes
Its been quiet here, I know. There's way too much going on, and in weird ways too much stagnantion. So much happened in the past few days that its hard to believe that its just been a month since the last time I wrote. I'm not myself anymore. I would stop here about what's really been on my mind, I wont have the words for it, or the heart. Some other time, some other place maybe.
So I'll just talk about my Corporate Grooming Lessons, my business school first month experience, first time away from home experience and everything in between.
Everyone's about a foot taller here, I feel sickeningly inferior - body image wise. Sometimes, when I get up to answer from my desk, I have a feeling that even standing I'm reaching to the same height as when everyone else is sitting.
People are not as competitive as I thought they would be, well, you cannot be sure I guess, since the exams have another month to go and again, I'm in HR. So yeah.
I've realized that I'm not a friendly person. People have made so many friends and so many numbers in their cell phones and so many movies and shopping trips to Colaba. My counter stands on one friend, and a few (very few) acquaintances. I'd like to believe that I take time, but again, as one of my classmates pointed out as my personality feedback in class "I'm not interested in people". Eitherway, its just a phase, everything is. Impermanence, remember.
I've been debating whether that last punctuation should have been a full stop or a question mark, I wrote it for here or for myself? I dont know. I really dont.
Since the last month, I've realized, if at any point you get stuck in a discussion or a case in your Business Class, the answer will most definitely revolve somewhere around Leadership, Teamwork and Goals. Not kidding. I'm going to revise this list soon, and I'm going to be very very pissed off if at the end of two years my answer doesnt change.
Mumbai should have a monsoon break over a summer vacation. Its moist, dirty, slippery, sticky and bloody wet. In my mind for now, rains are a rich man's delight, great from a high up building floor with AC working and a warm coffee mug in hand. It sucks when you have to walk in it from the station all the way to the hostel, with a backpack and a laptop bag in the hand and you cant find a rickshaw and you're thinking of the warden's face when she sees you at the gate - late. Irritating.
I've started eating a lot. I'm always thinking that the next meal might not turn out that good, so I just start stacking it in my stomach I guess. I've had the biggest craving for home cooked Dal-Chawal, and its sad to think that the earliest I'll get it will be Diwali. On the positive side thankfully the Rotis are not as thick, one problem out of the way, good.
I have gotten my first laptop, its a very ok Lappy we got by the college, but its mine, I looooove it! I carry it with me everywhere, and its an acer, so it not particularly feather weight. Its not even funny.
I thought there's a certain way girls smell and everyone's body has a unique fragrance and how deoderants are so artificial. That was until I had travelled in Mumbai Local Trains. Outlooks change, you know. Enter, Nike Woman.
For the most part though, I dont mind the local trains at all, the city would come to a standstill if weren't for these. By the way, First Class is no First Class, its a waste. Never buy it, if you can afford ten minutes to but the second class ticket.
Alright, I really need to crib and use this blog for its rightful purpose of existence - to vent out frustrations. There are no geysers in my hostel bathrooms. Its raining and cold water in the shower at 6:30 am is like being electrocuted, even worse than that if you have to shampoo, and condition, and wash clothes, stack of them thanks to the damn rain. And..and everytime after you use it, you bring your soap and shampoo back to your room and lock everything up. You lock before sleeping. You lock when you go to the bathroom. You lock your food. I once had a dream that my lovely Chakli from Indore got stolen. Aaah, breathe easy, just a nightmare. Lock the chakli, check.
More on hostel and a lot more on hostel facilities, coming right up, soon. But for now, time to get to Managerial Eco. Later then.
So I'll just talk about my Corporate Grooming Lessons, my business school first month experience, first time away from home experience and everything in between.
Everyone's about a foot taller here, I feel sickeningly inferior - body image wise. Sometimes, when I get up to answer from my desk, I have a feeling that even standing I'm reaching to the same height as when everyone else is sitting.
People are not as competitive as I thought they would be, well, you cannot be sure I guess, since the exams have another month to go and again, I'm in HR. So yeah.
I've realized that I'm not a friendly person. People have made so many friends and so many numbers in their cell phones and so many movies and shopping trips to Colaba. My counter stands on one friend, and a few (very few) acquaintances. I'd like to believe that I take time, but again, as one of my classmates pointed out as my personality feedback in class "I'm not interested in people". Eitherway, its just a phase, everything is. Impermanence, remember.
I've been debating whether that last punctuation should have been a full stop or a question mark, I wrote it for here or for myself? I dont know. I really dont.
Since the last month, I've realized, if at any point you get stuck in a discussion or a case in your Business Class, the answer will most definitely revolve somewhere around Leadership, Teamwork and Goals. Not kidding. I'm going to revise this list soon, and I'm going to be very very pissed off if at the end of two years my answer doesnt change.
Mumbai should have a monsoon break over a summer vacation. Its moist, dirty, slippery, sticky and bloody wet. In my mind for now, rains are a rich man's delight, great from a high up building floor with AC working and a warm coffee mug in hand. It sucks when you have to walk in it from the station all the way to the hostel, with a backpack and a laptop bag in the hand and you cant find a rickshaw and you're thinking of the warden's face when she sees you at the gate - late. Irritating.
I've started eating a lot. I'm always thinking that the next meal might not turn out that good, so I just start stacking it in my stomach I guess. I've had the biggest craving for home cooked Dal-Chawal, and its sad to think that the earliest I'll get it will be Diwali. On the positive side thankfully the Rotis are not as thick, one problem out of the way, good.
I have gotten my first laptop, its a very ok Lappy we got by the college, but its mine, I looooove it! I carry it with me everywhere, and its an acer, so it not particularly feather weight. Its not even funny.
I thought there's a certain way girls smell and everyone's body has a unique fragrance and how deoderants are so artificial. That was until I had travelled in Mumbai Local Trains. Outlooks change, you know. Enter, Nike Woman.
For the most part though, I dont mind the local trains at all, the city would come to a standstill if weren't for these. By the way, First Class is no First Class, its a waste. Never buy it, if you can afford ten minutes to but the second class ticket.
Alright, I really need to crib and use this blog for its rightful purpose of existence - to vent out frustrations. There are no geysers in my hostel bathrooms. Its raining and cold water in the shower at 6:30 am is like being electrocuted, even worse than that if you have to shampoo, and condition, and wash clothes, stack of them thanks to the damn rain. And..and everytime after you use it, you bring your soap and shampoo back to your room and lock everything up. You lock before sleeping. You lock when you go to the bathroom. You lock your food. I once had a dream that my lovely Chakli from Indore got stolen. Aaah, breathe easy, just a nightmare. Lock the chakli, check.
More on hostel and a lot more on hostel facilities, coming right up, soon. But for now, time to get to Managerial Eco. Later then.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Fun Updates
Things are, well, relatively calmer. Now that I have something definite on my to-do list atleast or two years, which also by the way requires a lot of commitment and hard work. I'm scared too, people say business schools suck, you know. Sheh.. I dont want to use this word "You know!". And I dont want to use "Sweet", "Cute" and "like". Maybe I should include frowns and sarcasm in my not-to-do list too, now since I'm at it, but then on second thoughts without these, i'll have no ugly sense of humour left to entertain my friends. Huh.
I'm going to be leaving soon, in a week precisely. And of all the other things that I've been thinking about, Mummy-Papa top the list. I'll miss them so much :( Other things include - Bed tea, Washed and ironed clothes, Landline Phone and Upmaa :( P.S. I will update this list, when I get more hands-on experience.
Trash-can-of-a-movie-update: Idiocracy
Review: Shit Stupid. I have too much time on my hands.
Movie-I'm-Dieng-to-watch: Sex and the City
Reason: Sex and the City
Movie-waiting-on-my-harddrive: Planet Earth Complete Series
Reason-its-still-waiting: They had a ugly crocodile scene in the first few minutes of 'Caves', I shut the entire thing off then.
Last-est-Movie-I-Saw: I'm a cyborg, but that's okay.
Review: Very sweet. A must watch. ("Sweet", here I go again).
Also, I happened to take local transport in my city two days ago, and guess what I discovered, Chivalry, my girls, isnt dead yet! :) It was a lot of fun. Rain catalyzed it too actually. What else? I'm bored. And I'm hungry. I have a really great joke on my cell phone (after so long)and no balance (annoyed). Also, I just recently finished my long time overhauled project at work. YAY! Cant't wait to get paid! Say hey! Also, they told me if I ever get free time on weekends in college, I can still work for them part-time and earn some pocket money. Its a good feeling to be wanted :)
Does everyone else daydream just as much? As in, say, half the time that you're free? I just keep thinking about random things I'd like to have. Like a small cozy apartment with a huge chunk of it as my bedroom. Huha! And a glass closet and a huge sofa and that book by Marquez I'm dieng to read and.. and... and.. You get my point. The last I caught myself thinking was, I wish I had a big black sassy SUV for myself. Maybe throw in jet dark glares and a suede waist coat. Heh, the funny part is - I dont even know how to drive. Ha.
On other fronts, I'm deleting my Orkut account for the nth time now. I figure, its more a evesdropping, and satiate your scepticism deal than anything else. First of, nobody knows what to talk to that long lost 8th grader friend, who by the way used to be fat as a pumpkin back then. After all the yeah you've changed and the couple of whats ups and whats news, I dont know what the hell to talk. And then ofcourse there are those testimonials (a lot of people have begun to refer those as "testis" by the way, umm, uhh). The next time I make a new one (ACCOUNT!, jeez!), my friends are just gonna be like, "Again?". They'd probably not even add me. Nobody likes there fans' numbers dwindling all the time. Thats not good for your public image.
So ok, thats it for now. I can only take so much soliloquy.
I'm going to be leaving soon, in a week precisely. And of all the other things that I've been thinking about, Mummy-Papa top the list. I'll miss them so much :( Other things include - Bed tea, Washed and ironed clothes, Landline Phone and Upmaa :( P.S. I will update this list, when I get more hands-on experience.
Trash-can-of-a-movie-update: Idiocracy
Review: Shit Stupid. I have too much time on my hands.
Movie-I'm-Dieng-to-watch: Sex and the City
Reason: Sex and the City
Movie-waiting-on-my-harddrive: Planet Earth Complete Series
Reason-its-still-waiting: They had a ugly crocodile scene in the first few minutes of 'Caves', I shut the entire thing off then.
Last-est-Movie-I-Saw: I'm a cyborg, but that's okay.
Review: Very sweet. A must watch. ("Sweet", here I go again).
Also, I happened to take local transport in my city two days ago, and guess what I discovered, Chivalry, my girls, isnt dead yet! :) It was a lot of fun. Rain catalyzed it too actually. What else? I'm bored. And I'm hungry. I have a really great joke on my cell phone (after so long)and no balance (annoyed). Also, I just recently finished my long time overhauled project at work. YAY! Cant't wait to get paid! Say hey! Also, they told me if I ever get free time on weekends in college, I can still work for them part-time and earn some pocket money. Its a good feeling to be wanted :)
Does everyone else daydream just as much? As in, say, half the time that you're free? I just keep thinking about random things I'd like to have. Like a small cozy apartment with a huge chunk of it as my bedroom. Huha! And a glass closet and a huge sofa and that book by Marquez I'm dieng to read and.. and... and.. You get my point. The last I caught myself thinking was, I wish I had a big black sassy SUV for myself. Maybe throw in jet dark glares and a suede waist coat. Heh, the funny part is - I dont even know how to drive. Ha.
On other fronts, I'm deleting my Orkut account for the nth time now. I figure, its more a evesdropping, and satiate your scepticism deal than anything else. First of, nobody knows what to talk to that long lost 8th grader friend, who by the way used to be fat as a pumpkin back then. After all the yeah you've changed and the couple of whats ups and whats news, I dont know what the hell to talk. And then ofcourse there are those testimonials (a lot of people have begun to refer those as "testis" by the way, umm, uhh). The next time I make a new one (ACCOUNT!, jeez!), my friends are just gonna be like, "Again?". They'd probably not even add me. Nobody likes there fans' numbers dwindling all the time. Thats not good for your public image.
So ok, thats it for now. I can only take so much soliloquy.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
(the)fence
Just how many times does it happen that you want to jump over the fence and for once feel what it's like to decide everything on your own? So many millions of times that you've envisioned that place in your mind? So many plans, so many dreams. Just how badly you want it - Uninterference, that is. And you've worked for it, done all you can. And you're right on the cliff, just the edge - all you need now is to jump off - and not care. Just let go. And then, someone moves the chroma screen from the front of your eyes. And you're back to where you started, a neverending trap which ultimately goes nowhere. Petty makebeliefs. Its a sick, sick world.
Monday, April 7, 2008
On 'Doing Nothing'
I've noticed (in a serious tone) how I hardly have any conventionally profound thoughts on my blog of late, its all casual everyday yaa yaa yikkety yak. Hehe.. I 'll continue the trend. Gladly (takes a bow).
I read somewhere once, that we do not have enough time to do all the nothing that we want to do. When I passed my 12th, and opted for Journalism as a career over Engineering, you can well imagine the uproar in my family. My Dad being an engineer and all. So yeah, my college's a joke, to them. People who don't get selected in Engineering or Medicine, study Arts. I've come to realize how rooted this mentality is in our Social Outlooks. Isn't it innate in all of us that Musicians and Artists don't earn enough. Don't we all unanimously agree that Management, Medicine and Engineering are the most lucrative career choices and hence quite obvious. Well, I've been thinking, its quite sad.
Are there more people in the world who don't know what exactly they want to do? Ok, to put it better, are there more people like me who want to do a lot of everything in their lives?
I often think who would I be if I didn't HAVE to be what I have become. What would I do with my life if I didn't have any lists of to-do set apart by society to succumb to. What would I really
I often think who would I be if I didn't HAVE to be what I have become. What would I do with my life if I didn't have any lists of to-do set apart by society to succumb to. What would I really
want to do if I wasn't answerable to anyone.
Lots of things.
Work in an NGO.
Teach.
Travel.
Learn Music.
Learn Painting.
Get a degree in English Literature.
Become a traveller guide.
Get formal training in World Dances.
Photography.
Work as a Social Activist for Women Upliftment.
Work with the United Nations.
Cook.
Raise Kids.
Study Sociology.
A little bit of all of these.
A little bit of nothing.
More or less, none of this would suffice to the rigidity of a great career. Hopefully, I'll get enough time to do a whole lot of nothing in my life soon. After all, one life.
Aloha!
Aloha!
P.S. The two pictures above are my late night artwork on Paintbrush. They're my two most favourite. I've made two so far, umm, both my favourite :)
P.P.S. Also, dont be judging drawing capabilities by these. I'm a 'little' better freehand :) Hehe..
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Indian Context
We were reading the 'Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs' in our Advertising class. The first block of needs are the Physiologial needs, the ones which are the most primitive to any living form, undistinguishable from any other living form. Such as, for example Food. So, our lecture is going on, she draws the Hierarchy pyramid on the board, and writes in there -
Food, Shelter, Warmth, Sex. And then she quickly erases Sex and .. umm here - "You know in Indian context Sex is not applicable in basic needs". Sigh. Long sigh.
P.S. Anyone to whom I havent sent this link in email already. Please make it a point to read it. Made me smile the first thing in the morning today. I'm still at a loss of words, plenty on the happiness side though.
Food, Shelter, Warmth, Sex. And then she quickly erases Sex and .. umm here - "You know in Indian context Sex is not applicable in basic needs". Sigh. Long sigh.
P.S. Anyone to whom I havent sent this link in email already. Please make it a point to read it. Made me smile the first thing in the morning today. I'm still at a loss of words, plenty on the happiness side though.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Wrath/ तामस
अगर जलना ही है
तो लोहे सा तो कम से कम ना जलो
की अपनी ही गर्मी मॆ खुद ही पिघल कर अपना वजूद मिटा लॆ
जलना ही है तो ज्वाला सा जलो
खुद जले तो जले
दुनिया को ही उजागर कर जाओ
किन्ही का तो अन्धेरा कम हो जयेगा
तो लोहे सा तो कम से कम ना जलो
की अपनी ही गर्मी मॆ खुद ही पिघल कर अपना वजूद मिटा लॆ
जलना ही है तो ज्वाला सा जलो
खुद जले तो जले
दुनिया को ही उजागर कर जाओ
किन्ही का तो अन्धेरा कम हो जयेगा
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Some Shit
I wonder sometimes what really my parents think (well, include my bade papa, chachas and badi mammas, chachis and brothers to the league).
Do they think girls are forever to be taken care of? They have to be kept completely protected, unadulterated under surveillance in their parents' house. Loved and cared for, of course. And then be very well taken care of under the guiding and watchful eyes of their more capable and rational husbands. So, I am not responsible enough for my own self? NO, really, I must be missing something here.
When I passed my 12th Grade, my family didn't even let me fill the forms outside my city, let alone, appear for tests. It's been five years since, and I thought, times change, we all grow up. But no sirree. Boo fucking hoo, no. Uh uh.
So I'm supposed to go to Alliance, Bangalore for a GD PI this weekend, and after I get my tickets, listen to this-
Bade Papa - "Bangalore bahut duur hain".
Chachu- "She is not mature enough to be alone".
OK.
Right, my 12th grader little brother is definitely mature enough to be sent to America alone next year. Oh, and my just an year older brother's college in Australia must definitely be closer than Bangalore.
Christ. I'm 22. Seriously, shut up.
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